Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What you really missed

If you look at the advert by MLSE and de-focus your eyes like with those 3D puzzles, you'd find this text appearing on your page: 

To Our Fans THANK YOU for your passionate support of our financial report this season

The vision impairment of Toronto Maple Leaf fans is second to none (except maybe Ray Charles). We have the most delusional fans in the NHL and certainly in all of professional sports.

We end this season with a Maple Leaf team that is not really all that different in character from the one that left the ice last April. Today there is greater need for Adult Accompaniment at the local Cineplex among our players. We have a hardworking team that is less experienced, more impressionable and more convinced they are great without ever succeeding at the professional level with other teams.

Our offseason begins with an even stronger commitment to our blueprint for building a winning team, and that team is Boston. It starts with solid goaltending that we traded for Andrew Raycroft and a formidable first round selection in this year's entry draft.

We've acquired some of the pieces that support our philosophy - but our work is not complete. We expect to have a busy summer as we continue to build a winning team by providing another top first round pick to Boston in next year's draft.

There is optimism in the Maple Leafs organization as there is every September and we hope Leafs Nation shares our spirit (we're just asking you to start sharing it earlier this time so you can forget about the draft and not be distracted by all those teams playing for the Cup).

Once again, thank you for your unwavering support. It ensures our dividends remain high and that our executives can afford that third Harbourfront condo, perhaps in Trump's towers if he ever gets around to finishing that shit. We look forward to seeing you in September, just not in the lower bowl.  

Sincerely, Your Masters and Overlords, the Executive and Shareholders of MLSE.

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